My friend, Alyssa, recently told me about the 5 different type of languages pertaining to love! I was immediately interested in which aspect I was, and of course what Derek would be. The five aspects are; touch, time, affirmation, gifts, and actions. Not too surprised that Derek and I scored similarly. Our strongest love language is time, or quality time;
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.*
This means giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television together. What I mean is taking a walk, just the two of you, or going out to eat and looking at each other while talking. Time is a strong communicator of love. The love language of quality time has many dialects. One of the most common is that of quality conversation – two individuals sharing their thoughts and feelings. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person’s desires. We must be willing to give advice, but only when it’s requested and never in a condescending manner.
Time spent together means the most to both of us? Easy compromise. My next highest score was touch, and his was affirmation (or words of kindness & love). The artist and the English teacher. Shocker!! Haha! In other words, he enjoys hearing how much I care for him, or how great his butt looks on any given day ;) - while I enjoy hugs and kisses galore!
I encourage you to take the quiz online [here]. And no, you don't have to be in a relationship to take it. It will help you understand your language with your friends as well! So instead of sending a card with kind words, maybe they actually need a little visit to feel comforted, appreciated, loved (whatever it is they communicate that is lacking). There is also [this] explanation of the love languages and little notes about how to meet your significant others' (or friends) needs.